Old Castle Rumors: Happil-TEA Ever After Tea Room, Book 4 by Amanda Daire

Author:Amanda Daire [Daire, Amanda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pink Elephant Press

14

Louisa

Act first, think later. That’s the course of action that plummeted her into trouble time after time, yet there she was, plunging again.

Louisa continued on the path she had forged, wishing she’d stopped to think it through.

Resentment forced a rush of itchiness over her skin. Elanna had everything, and yet she couldn’t find it in her heart to view Louisa as a person of value. A person with flaws but a good heart. A person who tried her best.

Louisa had trudged through hell, and now she had a baby by a man who hurt her.

And who could she talk to about it? No one.

Her loser ex-boyfriend was the only other person, aside from the police officer she’d reported the situation to, who knew even half of the story, but he’d been so caught up in the trauma of his life being disrupted over it that he offered no compassion. Louisa opened up to Elanna, knowing it would hurt her but thinking at least some of the hurt would be for her sister, and yet she hadn’t offered the sympathy or compassion Louisa needed.

Louisa switched on her car’s wiper blades as the rain pelted. She needed new wipers, so she bent her head slightly to see between the streaks on her windshield, hoping a deer wouldn’t jump out in front of her since she had no clear view of the road.

The tears blurring her eyes didn’t help.

Her breasts grew heavy with unexpressed milk.

A sob caught in her chest, strangling her.

Had she really just left her baby behind?

She was the worst kind of parent. And yet, she couldn’t force herself to turn around.

Elanna offered to help with the nighttime care. Louisa’s exhaustion threatened her well-being, so she accepted the offer.

If she were being honest with herself, which she was trying to be, there was nothing about caring for the infant that she enjoyed.

Louisa slapped the steering wheel.

What kind of mother didn’t like her baby?

She loved Grace. Oh, she loved her so much. She loved the way her little fingers wrapped around Louisa’s shirt as she fed. She loved the way her eyes would connect with Louisa for brief moments before looking away again. She loved her teeny tiny features and the warning squawks before bursting into full cries.

But still, every time Louisa looked at the infant, she saw a threat.

It wasn’t only about how she came to be. Louisa didn’t blame the baby for her father’s indiscretions and violence.

There were parts of Louisa that were broken. She’d hoped those fractures would heal themselves like a wildcat healed their broken bone, but those gaping wounds opened every time she thought of the sacrifices she was incapable of making for another living being. Even her own child.

Maybe her thoughts didn’t make sense. She knew if she shared them with Elanna, she’d only tell her she was being selfish and crazy.

Elanna was likely correct.

And yet there she was, driving in the middle of the night so she could make it to Connecticut by morning.

It wasn’t really the middle of the night.

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